Why is it so stressful for parents to raise children now?


Eight out of ten young people today who are learning to be new parents feel a lot of pressure. It seems that children have to bear all kinds of inexplicable pressures from birth. For example, the child's physical health, whether he has a disease, going to school, professional work, etc. Even if the child grows up, or even gets married and has children, parents have to worry about who will take care of their grandchildren. So why is there so much pressure on contemporary parents? It is related to the following four reasons.


1. Reason 1: Comparison between parents

The first related reason is the comparison between parents. Since childhood, I have heard a saying that parents often say: "How about other people's children!" It refers to those children who have been excellent since childhood. The reason for the comparison between parents has led to a lot of pressure since childhood. Parents can become excellent for their children, which will also cause inexplicable pressure and inexplicable tension to themselves. This not only refers to the aspect of learning, but also in terms of food and clothing. Under this stressful state for a long time, the psychology of both parents and children will be distorted. If you can let go of this emotion, the pressure of parenting will be much less.

2. Reason 2: Parents expect too much from their children

I believe that many parents used to have unfulfilled dreams. Now that they have children, they want to pass on the unfulfilled dreams to their children. This is a big reason for the pressure of raising children. This invisible transfer causes great psychological burden on children and also causes pressure on parents. Because parents have high expectations, they will cherish and pay more for their children, but the children may not achieve the expected results. This will lead to negative emotions in children, and parents will also cause great psychological pressure. The so-called "the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment" is the truth.


3. Reason 3: Parents interfere too much in their children's lives

The third major cause of stress is that parents are too lenient, too strict, and too long. This makes parents very stressed and tired, as if they need to worry about everything. They want to arrange their children's life, such as what to eat three meals a day, what to wear today, what to use for study materials, and what majors should they study when they grow up, What kind of job are you looking for, what kind of object are you looking for. Parents who intervene too much in their children's lives are not only tired, but also have a great impact on their children's lives. Children who grow up in this way can easily lose their ability to judge themselves and their ability to make choices. Parents need to learn to let go when it's time to let go, and quit when it's time to quit. Just give your kids advice, don't interfere too much with their choices.

4. Reason 4: Parents' irrational consumption concept

The fourth most overlooked reason is important. Many new parents love their children very much when they become parents for the first time. Basically, if the child wants it, the parents will meet it. Even if their own ability is not enough, the pre-consumption must first meet the child's needs. Due to the irrational view of consumption, it indirectly brings great pressure to parents. We should establish a correct concept of consumption and parenting, consume moderately and do what we can.


So being a parent is never easy. Being a parent is especially easy, but it takes a lot to become a "qualified" parent. Don't let your child be your pressure, you should let your child relieve your pressure and bring To be happy is the best way to live.