8 Negative Thoughts That Make You Unhappy
2022-05-07
The mind is an autonomous place. When a thought arises, heaven becomes hell; when a thought ceases, hell becomes heaven. --Milton, "Paradise Lost"
Everyone has experienced misfortune. And those who are chronically unhappy may be caused by their negative thinking. How we deal with this negative, unhappy negative thinking affects whether we are confident or fearful, whether we are hopeful or hopeless, whether we have autonomy or feel in control, and even whether we are successful. Numerous studies confirm that persistent negative thinking reduces health and well-being.
The following are 8 common negative thoughts that need to be vigilant:
Negative thinking 1. Self-attack
Sometimes we speak ill of ourselves, which reduces our self-confidence, underestimates our potential, and makes us perform worse. In this case, it usually starts like this:
"I can't..." "I'm not good enough..." "I'm not sure..." "I haven't..."
Just imagine, if you have such a friend who tells you "you're not good enough", "you can't do it", "you won't succeed" every day, will you still think this person is really good to your friend? If not, how can you put up with saying these things to yourself every day?
Doing this self-attack on yourself every day is like having an insincere friend and letting that friend slander you all day long. Over time, he became his most hated enemy.
Negative thinking 2. Negative assumptions
A common form of negative thinking is this: consider the current situation and assume a negative state. People with this negative thinking habit automatically process things like crowded buses and rainy days as negative feelings.
We all know that neither traffic nor weather have positive or negative attributes. These things take on a positive or negative tinge when you selectively relate them to the ego situation. Same thing, some people will have positive experiences and some won't. The key is how you evaluate and hypothesize these scenarios.
Negative thinking 3. Always feel inferior
This is one of the easiest and most common ways to make yourself feel unhappy. Especially when we are often compared to people who have more, are more attractive, make more money, or even get more likes in our Moments.
You may be experiencing negative social comparisons when you feel you especially want to have what others have, or when you feel jealous or inferior to others.
While sometimes the results of these comparisons are fair, it does not contribute to happiness or success in life and business. Not only that, but many studies have also confirmed that such habitual negative comparisons make people experience more stress, anxiety, hopelessness, and make more self-denialing decisions.
Negative thinking 4. Negative rumination
Granted, we need to learn from the past and learn from it, but we can't get caught up in the past. This is because, at times, adversity and personal setbacks can blind us from seeing our true potential and new opportunities.
We cannot change what has happened. But nothing happens that we can change or influence. The first step to change and influence is to break through the barriers of the "past" and declare to yourself clearly that the person who can control the present is who I am now, not who I was in the past.
Goethe once said, "Nothing is more important than today!" Don't dwell on the past, focus on the present, make better decisions, and move on.
Negative thinking 5. Always feel that the opponent is difficult to deal with
We're bound to meet some tough guys. In the face of these difficult people, people will also subconsciously regard the other party as the "controller", while themselves stand in the role of the "controlled person".
This negative thinking, even objectively, greatly reduces our autonomy.
If you want to change this negative thinking, the most important thing is to reverse your own cognition. Whether you are dealing with a narcissist, a controlling monster, or a passive-aggressive veteran, I believe you can search the Internet or in books to find the corresponding skills and let yourself occupy the commanding heights of interaction (or, at least, in a more advanced position). equal status).
Negative thinking 6. Always blame
What to blame, here, we can understand it as "to take responsibility for the misfortune of foreign objects". Many people blame their unhappy or failing negative thinking on parental inaction, negative intimacy, poor socioeconomic conditions, health conditions, or life difficulties.
Although it is an indisputable fact that life is difficult, painful, and the pain it brings, it is undeniable that people or foreign objects are often used as the reason for being unhappy, which also projects a negative mentality of the "victim" role.
Why do people take the role of "victim"? It is a bold guess that as a "victim", there are probably some illusory "benefits": by targeting the outside world, you can find convenient excuses for your unhappiness, and those hard work who are really responsible for your own life and happiness are subtly hidden.
But, over time, this habitual accusation perpetuates pain, resentment, and a sense of powerlessness, while the "victim" character suffers from what Thoreau called "still despair."
It's cruel and ironic that the outsider you blame doesn't really understand or care about your feelings. You have hurt yourself by being captured by your own pain and resentment.
Your feelings may be objectively correct, but they don't help you become happier, healthier, and more successful. In the end, all you get is those whining and making yourself more desperate.
Negative thinking 7. Do not forgive yourself
We all make mistakes. When you look back, you must have made some decisions or actions that you regret, and may have unfortunately made some bad judgments or caused harm to yourself or others.
Thinking about these events can be accompanied by a feeling of blaming yourself, especially for unintentional damage or missed opportunities. Even, you might feel like a bad person and sink into guilt.
At this time, it is very important to have more empathy for yourself. Trusting that you have learned from the past, you are now better able to avoid those mistakes and do more positive things for yourself and others.
You should know: forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes don't permanently reflect who you are. An error is just an isolated point in time on the timeline. Tell yourself "I'm going to make mistakes, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person.
Negative thinking 8. Fear of failure or mistakes
Part of the fear of failure and making mistakes has to do with perfectionism (where perfectionism refers to perfection in one area of your life), and sometimes you may feel like you're not good enough in some area, putting a lot of pressure on yourself do better.
Despite using high standards as a tool to keep yourself motivated, expecting yourself to be perfect takes away much of the joy of life and can limit your potential for success. Numerous studies have confirmed the link between perfectionism and unhappiness.
Everyone has experienced misfortune. And those who are chronically unhappy may be caused by their negative thinking. How we deal with this negative, unhappy negative thinking affects whether we are confident or fearful, whether we are hopeful or hopeless, whether we have autonomy or feel in control, and even whether we are successful. Numerous studies confirm that persistent negative thinking reduces health and well-being.
The following are 8 common negative thoughts that need to be vigilant:
Negative thinking 1. Self-attack
Sometimes we speak ill of ourselves, which reduces our self-confidence, underestimates our potential, and makes us perform worse. In this case, it usually starts like this:
"I can't..." "I'm not good enough..." "I'm not sure..." "I haven't..."
Just imagine, if you have such a friend who tells you "you're not good enough", "you can't do it", "you won't succeed" every day, will you still think this person is really good to your friend? If not, how can you put up with saying these things to yourself every day?
Doing this self-attack on yourself every day is like having an insincere friend and letting that friend slander you all day long. Over time, he became his most hated enemy.
Negative thinking 2. Negative assumptions
A common form of negative thinking is this: consider the current situation and assume a negative state. People with this negative thinking habit automatically process things like crowded buses and rainy days as negative feelings.
We all know that neither traffic nor weather have positive or negative attributes. These things take on a positive or negative tinge when you selectively relate them to the ego situation. Same thing, some people will have positive experiences and some won't. The key is how you evaluate and hypothesize these scenarios.
Negative thinking 3. Always feel inferior
This is one of the easiest and most common ways to make yourself feel unhappy. Especially when we are often compared to people who have more, are more attractive, make more money, or even get more likes in our Moments.
You may be experiencing negative social comparisons when you feel you especially want to have what others have, or when you feel jealous or inferior to others.
While sometimes the results of these comparisons are fair, it does not contribute to happiness or success in life and business. Not only that, but many studies have also confirmed that such habitual negative comparisons make people experience more stress, anxiety, hopelessness, and make more self-denialing decisions.
Negative thinking 4. Negative rumination
Granted, we need to learn from the past and learn from it, but we can't get caught up in the past. This is because, at times, adversity and personal setbacks can blind us from seeing our true potential and new opportunities.
We cannot change what has happened. But nothing happens that we can change or influence. The first step to change and influence is to break through the barriers of the "past" and declare to yourself clearly that the person who can control the present is who I am now, not who I was in the past.
Goethe once said, "Nothing is more important than today!" Don't dwell on the past, focus on the present, make better decisions, and move on.
Negative thinking 5. Always feel that the opponent is difficult to deal with
We're bound to meet some tough guys. In the face of these difficult people, people will also subconsciously regard the other party as the "controller", while themselves stand in the role of the "controlled person".
This negative thinking, even objectively, greatly reduces our autonomy.
If you want to change this negative thinking, the most important thing is to reverse your own cognition. Whether you are dealing with a narcissist, a controlling monster, or a passive-aggressive veteran, I believe you can search the Internet or in books to find the corresponding skills and let yourself occupy the commanding heights of interaction (or, at least, in a more advanced position). equal status).
Negative thinking 6. Always blame
What to blame, here, we can understand it as "to take responsibility for the misfortune of foreign objects". Many people blame their unhappy or failing negative thinking on parental inaction, negative intimacy, poor socioeconomic conditions, health conditions, or life difficulties.
Although it is an indisputable fact that life is difficult, painful, and the pain it brings, it is undeniable that people or foreign objects are often used as the reason for being unhappy, which also projects a negative mentality of the "victim" role.
Why do people take the role of "victim"? It is a bold guess that as a "victim", there are probably some illusory "benefits": by targeting the outside world, you can find convenient excuses for your unhappiness, and those hard work who are really responsible for your own life and happiness are subtly hidden.
But, over time, this habitual accusation perpetuates pain, resentment, and a sense of powerlessness, while the "victim" character suffers from what Thoreau called "still despair."
It's cruel and ironic that the outsider you blame doesn't really understand or care about your feelings. You have hurt yourself by being captured by your own pain and resentment.
Your feelings may be objectively correct, but they don't help you become happier, healthier, and more successful. In the end, all you get is those whining and making yourself more desperate.
Negative thinking 7. Do not forgive yourself
We all make mistakes. When you look back, you must have made some decisions or actions that you regret, and may have unfortunately made some bad judgments or caused harm to yourself or others.
Thinking about these events can be accompanied by a feeling of blaming yourself, especially for unintentional damage or missed opportunities. Even, you might feel like a bad person and sink into guilt.
At this time, it is very important to have more empathy for yourself. Trusting that you have learned from the past, you are now better able to avoid those mistakes and do more positive things for yourself and others.
You should know: forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and mistakes don't permanently reflect who you are. An error is just an isolated point in time on the timeline. Tell yourself "I'm going to make mistakes, but that doesn't mean I'm a bad person.
Negative thinking 8. Fear of failure or mistakes
Part of the fear of failure and making mistakes has to do with perfectionism (where perfectionism refers to perfection in one area of your life), and sometimes you may feel like you're not good enough in some area, putting a lot of pressure on yourself do better.
Despite using high standards as a tool to keep yourself motivated, expecting yourself to be perfect takes away much of the joy of life and can limit your potential for success. Numerous studies have confirmed the link between perfectionism and unhappiness.
