Do Avoidant Personalities Know About Love?

2022-07-23

A friend told me that his girlfriend is an avoidant personality, and it is very painful to fall in love with her, and she can't feel "she loves me" at all. In their normal state, they often see her rejecting me, rejecting me, overemphasizing independence, and even often losing contact, etc. Friends say that in the process of falling in love with her, she does not feel happiness and joy, but more exhaustion and pain. So, do avoidant personalities know what love is? Do they have the desire to love? Do they have the ability to love? What are the specific performances? Let's take a look.

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1. Avoidant personality does not lack the desire to love

In fact, no matter what type of avoidant personality they are, they actually do not lack the desire to love, they are also easy to have a good impression of the opposite sex, and they will actively pursue the opposite sex they like, and they will also be gentle, considerate, kind and thoughtful. At the same time, they can take care of each other's emotions, coax each other when they are unhappy, give gifts during Chinese New Year and festivals, and look forward to the future together with each other. Therefore, when they are just in love or during the ambiguous period, the avoidant personality will not have any psychological burden for the time being, because this is the process of satisfying his desire for love. But if they enter the middle and late stages of a relationship or even a marriage, they will start to reject the relationship and feel tired and miserable. They will appear desperate, fleeing, and even wanting to flee. So every time they break up, break up conflicts and quarrels, avoidant personalities are accustomed to avoidance, but do not easily mention the breakup, because they do not really want to leave, they still have the desire to love.

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2. Avoidant personality does not know how to love

Whether a person understands love or not is actually a feeling that comes from the family. For those who have a happy family of origin, the love they want is actually a feeling similar to that of the family of origin. For example: the parents of the original family often show concern for their partner, when the other party is in a bad mood, they comfort and listen in time, and always care about the other party's body, and all kinds of care are natural behaviors, and they do it unconsciously without any reluctance. , and even feel very at ease and satisfied. For avoidant personalities, many of their original families are unhappy, or even have serious problems, or they have been greatly hurt in their previous relationships, making them very untrustworthy in stable relationships. Therefore, avoidant personalities often show the feeling that they do not understand love and do not know how to love.

3. Most avoidant personalities lack the ability to love

Because the native families with many avoidant personalities are unhappy, and they were not cared for and loved by their parents in childhood, it is difficult to truly love others and give to others when they grow up. They usually act like they don't know how to love someone, but when they feel they have to do it, they can only imitate how other people fall in love. He may also do it this way when he is with a girlfriend. But after all, these performances are not from the heart, they are just imitations. In this way, it is difficult for them to obtain a certain sense of satisfaction. So for them, how to love others is a very difficult and tiring thing.

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