Avoid wrong communication patterns between couples

2022-06-18

The most important thing between couples should not be the compatibility of personalities, but the most important thing should be the way of communication. Because communication represents the attitude of both of you, it is the most direct way for two people to convey their feelings.

Most couples know that their communication can be more or less problematic, but in the end it all boils down to character issues. Let me stress it here: Communication has an impact on personality, but not all.

The right communication pattern can bring emotional value to both parties, while the wrong communication pattern can convey a negative attitude that ultimately leads to robbing couples of affection.

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What are some miscommunication patterns to avoid?

The wrong communication pattern 1. Couples often use rhetorical questions and interrogative sentences as answers

Obviously you can answer, but you have to use rhetorical questions. This behavior itself is a kind of attitude of mocking and looking down on the other party.

The wrong communication pattern 2. Couples often use imperative sentences

Imperatives mean commands, and many people don't know that this type of communication conveys a superior attitude

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Bad Communication Pattern 3. Impatient and don't want to explain

This is what happens to a lot of couples. Once there is a dispute, one of the parties will have an impatient attitude, which expresses that I do not want to communicate, a negative attitude.

The wrong communication pattern 4. The things that couples talk about only stand on their own side

In this case, don't consider the other party's emotions, just say what to do. This situation is more common in straight men, and it shows that I don't care about your emotions.

Bad Communication Patterns 5. Reasonable

This is similar to the former, which is usually thought of as teaching the other person how to be a person and how to do things, which is equivalent to saying that you are wrong and I am right. The attitude that can be expressed is: you are not good, I am better than you.

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Why do you fall into the wrong communication mode?

Your family of origin determines the quality of your current relationship.

If your family was full of suspicion and ridicule when you were a child, you would be prone to using rhetorical questions. Because your body is unfamiliar with other benign forms of communication, you can only use what you are most familiar with. But the most familiar way is not necessarily the right way.

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What kind of communication is healthy and effective?

1. To avoid conflict, communication in a relationship is actually a reflection of emotional values.

If the other person speaks emotionally and comes to you with nameless anger, you shouldn't be afraid. I would like to congratulate you on being able to do the core work of couples - providing emotional value.

Therefore, what you need to do is to appease the other person's emotions, not to criticize them. He or she is someone who needs emotional value right now, so put your petty temper aside for now and do everything first.

So, the cornerstone of all communication: you don't play games with each other. He came to you because he subconsciously believed in you and trusted you, so he showed you this side.

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2. Pay attention to the way you make the request

First, you have to change your tone and not take the tolerance of others for granted. Even if you're asking the other person to do something, you should do it in a soft way that makes the other person do things willingly.

Remember: In a relationship, the person who gives is irreplaceable. So, to take the lead in a relationship, you need to take action and be the one who works harder and does more.