Problems that arise when communicating with the opposite sex
2022-05-08
People often ask how to have a conversation with the opposite sex. Many people have barriers in communicating with the opposite sex, and it is not entirely a matter of methods and skills. And these problems are the crux of the communication between people and the opposite sex.
Through a lot of communication and sorting, we have summed up 8 common problems that often arise when communicating with the opposite sex:
1. Nervous about speaking in public
The reason is simple, lack of self-confidence comes first. And that confidence is more of a confidence in public speaking. I don't know how to subjectively build a confident attitude when speaking, break through my fears, and overcome the nervousness of public speaking. Second, there is no systematic method of learning public speaking. The third is the lack of sufficient public speaking experience.
2. Whisper softly, without emotion, without enthusiasm, without energy
This is the first feeling of the opposite sex when communicating with such a person. If the opposite sex doesn't know what he's saying when he hears the other person's voice, it won't be attractive to the opposite sex. No energy, no rhythm, no emotional ups and downs, no sense of the other person's enthusiasm and vitality. Communicating with him was like encountering a zombie. The most terrifying thing is that he can't feel this at all, and feels that there is no problem. And this is also one of the reasons why many people are still ineffective after learning a lot of speaking skills and routines. Because he does not know the nature of language, the point is not what to say, but how to say it. Equally simple, an emotional expression is definitely many times better than a lifeless narrative.
3. Complicated and verbose, without focus, without logic
When expressing one thing, the logic line is not clear, there is no plan to say what to say first, and the language is boring and repetitive. Let the opposite sex listen for a long time, not knowing what the other party is saying. The opposite sex needs to listen very carefully, summarize and repeat it to the other party, so that you can judge whether it is what you heard. If the opposite sex chats with such a person, you can imagine how uncomfortable it is.
4. Insufficient reserves of knowledge, stories and topics
As a result, in the process of communication, it is easy to fail to express what you think, because there is too little material in the brain.
There are roughly three reasons:
1) I usually don’t like reading books, and I didn’t learn some new knowledge in time.
When you come across a topic, you know very little about the background, knowledge, anecdotes, and other relevant information about the topic, just like there is no corresponding data stored in a computer database, naturally it cannot be retrieved, and of course you do not Know what to say.
2) Not organizing stories to share with others, or not recording good stories you heard.
If you want to have a more in-depth communication with the other party and increase the intimacy with the opposite sex, if you do not express some personal or even private content, the opposite sex will feel that they are not close to them. Think about how best friends usually know each other well, and only when they know each other better can they build a stronger relationship. Take the initiative to share growth experiences, love experiences, all kinds of fun, special, thrilling and even supernatural events, the opposite sex will have a more comprehensive understanding of you, and the opposite sex may open up to you to share her stories.
3) Not following current hot topics
What's trending is the most communicative topic because most people are paying attention. If you don't participate, it will look very outdated. Popular content is also the easiest way to communicate with strangers and the opposite sex. From these topics, we can learn some views of the opposite sex, and even three views.
Typical popular content includes: movies, music, TV series, celebrities, books, games, popular online videos, popular online events, etc.
5. It is easy to say the wrong thing, it is easy to be cold, and it is easy to end the topic
For people who aren't good at chatting, you can easily become a social legend—the talk-stopper—when you haven't adjusted. Originally, when a few people were chatting happily, your unintentional words made everyone embarrassed. The whole heated chat atmosphere has dropped to a freezing point because of you, and the others don't know how to continue the conversation. Generally speaking, in such a situation, experienced friends will quickly change the topic and talk about other fun things directly to avoid embarrassment.
6. Will not continue the topic, will not change the topic
You let the chat cool down, and you're passive if you don't know how to immediately continue on the previous topic, or simply move on to another topic that can be talked about to get your chat back on track. Generally speaking, if the other person is not the kind of person who is very good at guiding the conversation, you will be embarrassed, especially if the other person is the opposite sex you want to pursue, and the other person already has an overall evaluation of you, and it is a relatively negative evaluation.
7. Lack of humor
Suppose you are usually a serious, cold person, can't be funny, can't liven up the atmosphere according to local conditions, although you don't necessarily have a sense of humor to win the favor of friends or the opposite sex. But you're missing a powerful social weapon. A sense of humor can sometimes act like a lubricant, a catalyst, and an accelerator. It can effectively and quickly shorten your relationship with the opposite sex, making it easier for the opposite sex to like you.
8. Local accent, stuttering
Assuming your voice has a severe regional accent, or even stuttering, it can hinder your ability to communicate with the opposite sex. The opposite sex doesn't quite understand the dialect you speak, or what you're talking about. The opposite sex has shown embarrassment, but you still insist on yourself and have not adjusted your language to the same frequency as the opposite sex.
Stuttering is a language disorder characterized by inconsistencies in the frequency of normal, fluent communication, as well as involuntary repetitions and pauses. This problem is completely cured by participating in corrective training.
Through a lot of communication and sorting, we have summed up 8 common problems that often arise when communicating with the opposite sex:
1. Nervous about speaking in public
The reason is simple, lack of self-confidence comes first. And that confidence is more of a confidence in public speaking. I don't know how to subjectively build a confident attitude when speaking, break through my fears, and overcome the nervousness of public speaking. Second, there is no systematic method of learning public speaking. The third is the lack of sufficient public speaking experience.
2. Whisper softly, without emotion, without enthusiasm, without energy
This is the first feeling of the opposite sex when communicating with such a person. If the opposite sex doesn't know what he's saying when he hears the other person's voice, it won't be attractive to the opposite sex. No energy, no rhythm, no emotional ups and downs, no sense of the other person's enthusiasm and vitality. Communicating with him was like encountering a zombie. The most terrifying thing is that he can't feel this at all, and feels that there is no problem. And this is also one of the reasons why many people are still ineffective after learning a lot of speaking skills and routines. Because he does not know the nature of language, the point is not what to say, but how to say it. Equally simple, an emotional expression is definitely many times better than a lifeless narrative.
3. Complicated and verbose, without focus, without logic
When expressing one thing, the logic line is not clear, there is no plan to say what to say first, and the language is boring and repetitive. Let the opposite sex listen for a long time, not knowing what the other party is saying. The opposite sex needs to listen very carefully, summarize and repeat it to the other party, so that you can judge whether it is what you heard. If the opposite sex chats with such a person, you can imagine how uncomfortable it is.
4. Insufficient reserves of knowledge, stories and topics
As a result, in the process of communication, it is easy to fail to express what you think, because there is too little material in the brain.
There are roughly three reasons:
1) I usually don’t like reading books, and I didn’t learn some new knowledge in time.
When you come across a topic, you know very little about the background, knowledge, anecdotes, and other relevant information about the topic, just like there is no corresponding data stored in a computer database, naturally it cannot be retrieved, and of course you do not Know what to say.
2) Not organizing stories to share with others, or not recording good stories you heard.
If you want to have a more in-depth communication with the other party and increase the intimacy with the opposite sex, if you do not express some personal or even private content, the opposite sex will feel that they are not close to them. Think about how best friends usually know each other well, and only when they know each other better can they build a stronger relationship. Take the initiative to share growth experiences, love experiences, all kinds of fun, special, thrilling and even supernatural events, the opposite sex will have a more comprehensive understanding of you, and the opposite sex may open up to you to share her stories.
3) Not following current hot topics
What's trending is the most communicative topic because most people are paying attention. If you don't participate, it will look very outdated. Popular content is also the easiest way to communicate with strangers and the opposite sex. From these topics, we can learn some views of the opposite sex, and even three views.
Typical popular content includes: movies, music, TV series, celebrities, books, games, popular online videos, popular online events, etc.
5. It is easy to say the wrong thing, it is easy to be cold, and it is easy to end the topic
For people who aren't good at chatting, you can easily become a social legend—the talk-stopper—when you haven't adjusted. Originally, when a few people were chatting happily, your unintentional words made everyone embarrassed. The whole heated chat atmosphere has dropped to a freezing point because of you, and the others don't know how to continue the conversation. Generally speaking, in such a situation, experienced friends will quickly change the topic and talk about other fun things directly to avoid embarrassment.
6. Will not continue the topic, will not change the topic
You let the chat cool down, and you're passive if you don't know how to immediately continue on the previous topic, or simply move on to another topic that can be talked about to get your chat back on track. Generally speaking, if the other person is not the kind of person who is very good at guiding the conversation, you will be embarrassed, especially if the other person is the opposite sex you want to pursue, and the other person already has an overall evaluation of you, and it is a relatively negative evaluation.
7. Lack of humor
Suppose you are usually a serious, cold person, can't be funny, can't liven up the atmosphere according to local conditions, although you don't necessarily have a sense of humor to win the favor of friends or the opposite sex. But you're missing a powerful social weapon. A sense of humor can sometimes act like a lubricant, a catalyst, and an accelerator. It can effectively and quickly shorten your relationship with the opposite sex, making it easier for the opposite sex to like you.
8. Local accent, stuttering
Assuming your voice has a severe regional accent, or even stuttering, it can hinder your ability to communicate with the opposite sex. The opposite sex doesn't quite understand the dialect you speak, or what you're talking about. The opposite sex has shown embarrassment, but you still insist on yourself and have not adjusted your language to the same frequency as the opposite sex.
Stuttering is a language disorder characterized by inconsistencies in the frequency of normal, fluent communication, as well as involuntary repetitions and pauses. This problem is completely cured by participating in corrective training.
